While my husband and I were sick with Covid recently, we had a number of friends and family who wanted to help us out. We received constant texts and calls asking what we needed and how they could help. Sounds great, right?

You’d think so, but this was so incredibly hard for me. I’m so used to doing everything for myself that the idea of needing other people to shop or run errands for me was troublesome. I mean, I can do it myself, right? It took me a while to come around to the fact that I couldn’t do it all myself, and my friends really wanted to help. We had friends bring groceries, pick up medications, and anything else we needed.

I hesitated, and a dear friend finally said, “I know how hard it is to ask for help, but I really want to help.”. It was then I realized that I’m not alone in hating to ask for help.

Why is it so hard for us to allow people to help us out?

Asking for help can be a difficult task for many people, but it can be particularly challenging for women who tend to prioritize taking care of others before themselves. Research has shown that women are less likely to ask for help when they're overwhelmed, even when it's clear that they need it.

Why Women Tend Not to Ask for Help

There are many reasons why women tend not to ask for help when they're overwhelmed. Here are a few of the most common:

• Fear of Being Judged: Women may worry that asking for help will make them appear weak or incompetent in the eyes of others. This fear of being judged can be particularly strong if they're asking for help with something that is traditionally considered to be a "women's task," such as cooking, cleaning, or childcare.

• Belief in Self-Sufficiency: Women may have been raised to believe that they should be able to handle everything on their own without needing to rely on others. This belief in self-sufficiency can make it difficult to ask for help, even when it's clear that it's needed.

• Fear of Being a Burden: Women may worry that asking for help will be an inconvenience to others or that they will be seen as a burden. This fear can be particularly strong if they're asking for help from someone who is already busy or overburdened.

Why It's Important to Ask for Help

While it may be difficult to ask for help, there are many reasons why it's important to do so. Here are a few of the most important:

• Improved Mental Health: When we're overwhelmed and stressed, it can take a toll on our mental health. Asking for help can help us to alleviate some of that stress and reduce our risk of developing mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

• More Productivity: When we're trying to do everything on our own, we can easily become overwhelmed and burnt out. By asking for help, we can free up our time and energy to focus on the things that are most important to us, which can help us to be more productive in the long run.

• Strengthened Relationships: Asking for help can help to strengthen our relationships with others. When we ask for help, we're showing that we trust and value the people in our lives, which can lead to deeper connections and stronger bonds.

How to Ask for Help

Asking for help can be uncomfortable and challenging, but there are some strategies that can make it easier. Here are a few tips for asking for help:

• Be Clear and Specific: When you're asking for help, be as clear and specific as possible about what you need. This will help to ensure that the person you're asking understands exactly what you're looking for and can provide the support you need.

• Be Honest: When you're asking for help, be honest about why you need it. If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, say so. This can help the person you're asking to understand the urgency of the situation and provide the appropriate level of support.

• Be Grateful: When someone offers to help you, be sure to express your gratitude. Let them know how much their support means to you and how much you appreciate their help.

By being clear, honest, and grateful when asking for help, women can begin to overcome these challenges and start prioritizing their own well-being.

Asking for help can be difficult, but it's an important skill to develop, especially for women who tend to prioritize the needs of others over their own. By understanding why we tend not to ask for help, why it's important to do so, and how to ask for help effectively, we can begin to let in those people who really want to do things for us.

As I’ve learned recently, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it's never too late to start.